RECORDING "THOSE ARE NOT MY BONGOS" IN ANCONA, ITALY TUE 5 NOV 2002 Left Memphis at 4PM yesterday. Left Cincinnati at 9PM. Left Paris at 1PM today. It's 5PM in Rome right now. Kyle & Ted are lost - they missed their flight. The French airport workers went on strike. Suspiciously, both Tim and my guitars were lost, but none of our other luggage. Pietro is sick, and so didn't meet us at the airport. We're waiting to see if our guitars show up before taking the train to Rome to meet someone named Dodo who promises to give us lodging for the night. So far, all is going exactly according to plan. Left Rome at 8:20PM. Our guitars were found. Kyle and Ted were discovered at the train station. We were greeted in Ancona at midnight by the three lovely faces of Francesco, Matteo and Daniele. At first beers were drunk to calm nerves, later to celebrate and nourish. It is 2:30AM and we now go to sleep wide awake. I had forgotten about the snoring of the Tim. Even with ear plugs it is largely intolerable. Lori must be deaf. We slept alongside each other and I found that reaching over and violently shaking the corner of his mattress seemed to disturb the noise for five minutes or so. This situation will have to change. THU 7 NOV 2002 Past two days were spent learning each other's songs. We're working at Francesco's in the Yuppie Flu practice space. Random jazz odyssey and Deep Purple jamming interspersed with incredible meals prepared by Francesco. Beer red wine and Pringles. Tonight YF had a practice so Daniele took us first to a bar where we drank a bottle of local Sangiovese Novella (the newest 2002 wine just released). Then next door to the wine bar where we drank two more bottles of Red Wine, and finally to Thermos, the club that we played at Spring 2001. The cute blonde androgyne with the Einstürzende Neubauten tattoo remembered us and served us many Carlsberg beers. We descended to drunken disarray and played foosball. At Matteo's apartment I made many grilled parmesan cheese sandwiches and drank one final beer on the kitchen floor while strumming Souled American covers. Tim was relocated to a private room. My new roommate Kyle sleeps in a pleasantly silent manner. FRI 8 NOV 2002 Kyle tracked 3 songs and I tracked 3 songs with guitar and vocals. Francesco cooked a spanakopita and spelled out "fuck" on the top. Then Ted & I went to see DOUNBILA (Jim Jarmusch, 1986) with Daniele. He translated Roberto Benigni's lines for us. "You don't like turtleneck shirts? I don't like turtleneck shirts either!" We met the others at a bar for Krombacker Pilsner and turned in early around 3am. SAT 9 NOV 2002 Today Kyle, Ted & I took a walk in search of a battery charger and asthma medication for Ted. Unsuccessful. Strolled through a flea market full of useless crap. Francesco took Ted to the hospital for most of the afternoon, but they never got in to see a doctor. Tim has been tracking with Matteo. Kyle and I have been napping. Daniele has just entered bearing pizza. SUN 10 NOV 2002 Began the tracking of the drums. There was a beer shortage which became something of a problem by the end of the evening. Virtually no stores are open on Sunday. Matteo's girlfriend Paola showed up from Bologna, so we quit recording early. After returning to the apartment Kyle & I went out in search of a bar. We found at the foot of the hill called Highlander. We had excellent snacks and many pints of Heineken while watching music videos. MON 11 NOV 2002 Today we finished tracking drums and went to the grocery. We bought several cases of beer and a variety of red wine which I look forward to consuming. Kyle wrapped his penis in masking tape, stuck it through the fly of his pants, walked into the control room and said, "I heard you guys were taping something." TUE 12 NOV 2002 Ted has begun recording bass parts. We have basic tracks for 17 songs, as well as 35 minutes of "jamming" that Ted, Kyle and I did earlier this year in San Francisco. Also, the Ellison/Soule composition "Jazz Idiodyssey." Lunch was aborigine, tomato, oregano pasta with mozzarella, had with a 2002 Bardolino Novello by Pasqua, a winery from Verona, near here. Fucking amazing. We sat in on the Yuppie Flu practice. Simply put, they're great. Kyle & I visited the Highlander once again for Heineken and snack foods. WED 13 NOV 2002 Ted finished his bass parts, Tim & I with some gtr parts. Kyle working on his computer putting keyboard parts. Lunch was a black olive & tomato pasta. Dinner was an amazing thin egg omelet/crêpe - one with mushrooms another with spinach - and salad of mixed greens, carrots and parmigiano. Eaten with a 2001 Valpolicella by Pasqua. THU 14 NOV 2002 More overdubs. Dodo came with Ted, Kyle and me to the Highlander. We watched the movie about the North Pole expedition in Italian and drank Heineken and ate snack foods. SAT 16 NOV 2002 Friday and today were spent frantically practicing old fuck songs in preparation for these five shows. Yuppie Flu left yesterday to play two shows, so we were left with a makeshift drum set comprised of a floor tom, a snare and a tambourine hanging from a mic stand. Guitar through the PA, etc. Tonight Daniele came in from Bologna and took us out to The Fort Pizzeria – the building was formerly one of Napoleon's strongholds. Yummy pizza, red wine, lemon cough syrup. Faux pas #1: There was nearly a full pizza left over and I asked to take it to go. This is not done. Faux pas #2: Ordered cappuccino after dinner. This is not done. Faux Pas #3: Involved going to the crowded Thermos and drinking beer and more red wine and attempting to recreate the Mary Timony dance for the benefit of others. SUN 17 NOV 2002 Performed at Thermos here in Ancona. Foosball was fun until I played with the Italians, which was completely humiliating.